Everyday, Flu-Ridden, Beautiful Love

"I have come to believe that lifelong love often looks extraordinary, yes, but it’s because we are faithful to love well in the ordinary minutes of our days."

-Sarah Bessey


Some of the most impactful advice I have found about marriage came from a fellow blogger. Sarah Bessey did a post a few years ago that transformed the way that I view love...how it lives and breathes in the minutes of day-to-day life. 

Read her post here.

I have watched this concept come alive in our marriage so many times. The thought that extraordinary love is formed through times that are anything but glamorous. The non-instagram worthy, breaking, "buckle-up this is real life" moments. 

What does love looks like? It looks like our life as of Wednesday.


Late Wednesday night I came down with food poisoning (or so I thought). I woke up in the night and knew something was not right. I don't get sick often, so it's somewhat shocking for me when it happens. Also, it means I'm a whiny, most likely annoying patient.

Doug was a champ. He woke up at 3 am so that I could complain to him about my (ahem) bathroom experiences. He sat there and held my hand while I attempted to fall asleep for a bit. He played with my hair (#fave) and told me it would be okay. If you can picture me: old U of M t-shirt, trainwreck topknot, and sweating you will get an understanding of what he was being so sweet to. 

Skip forward a couple days to Friday night. Around 8 pm he started not feeling so well himself. In all of my radiant genius I asked, "What?! Do you think you got food poisoning too?" Not a doctor guys, not a doctor.

Turns out, I didn't have food poisoning just an aggressive 24 hour flu. Roles were reversed and now I was the one telling him it would be okay and bringing him his 'sick hoodie' (DW wears a specific hoodie when and only when he is sick). He was finally able to fall truly asleep around 4:30 am. Before that, he would toss and turn, wake up, and have to run to the bathroom. But this time, I could tell he was a-sleep. Isn't that funny how you learn these things about your spouse over time? 

As I sat there in the darkness snuggling Paisley and listening to him finally get some rest, I was struck that it was this kind of few days Sarah was referring to. The days of your life when your partner steps up to the plate even when you are anything but lovable. When it isn't a perfectly executed date but instead them sitting next to you on the floor of the bathroom.

I continue to be changed by love even when it looks like simple, human normalcy...and find inspiration in it even when it takes the simplest forms (like a sweet husband telling you 'this too shall pass'). Grateful for Sarah's insight about achieving extraordinary love by being purposeful in each minute of our day.


sincerely ashley | doug-ashley-wierenga

I hope you all had a less flu-ish, more exciting weekend :)

Thanks to Emily from Brave Girl Spirit for snapping this picture of Mr. Handsome and me. Let's do dinner again soon!